Why Healthy Marriages Keep Growing

Healthy marriages don't just happen by accident they grow through intentional choices every day.

One of the greatest lessons I learned during my 52 years of marriage is this:

Healthy marriages never stop growing.

Have you ever noticed that a beautiful garden doesn't stay beautiful all by itself? If it's going to flourish, someone has to tend it. The soil must be prepared. Seeds must be planted. Weeds have to be pulled. Flowers need watering, pruning, and plenty of sunshine.

Marriage is much the same way.

When a husband and wife say, "I do," they aren't stepping into a finished masterpiece. They're planting the first seeds of a lifelong garden.

The challenge is that each person comes from different roots.

We bring different family traditions, different communication styles, different expectations, and sometimes hurts that were planted long before we ever met each other. Some of those hurts become rocks beneath the surface—hidden until pressure reveals they're there.

Aaron and I certainly discovered a few rocks in our own garden.

There were disappointments, misunderstandings, and what I like to call "intense fellowship" moments. There were times when we had to stop trying to prove who was right and start asking what would help our marriage grow.

Looking back, I realize something beautiful.

While we were trying to grow together, God was growing each of us individually.

He was pruning attitudes that no longer served us.

He was pulling weeds of pride and selfishness.

He was removing rocks we didn't even know were buried in our hearts.

And He faithfully watered our marriage with His love and grace.

That is what healthy marriages do.

They keep growing. Not because they're perfect.

But because two imperfect people continue inviting God to do His work.

If your marriage feels stuck today, don't lose hope.

Instead of focusing on what's wrong with your spouse, ask the Master Gardener to show you what He wants to cultivate in your own heart. Sometimes the greatest breakthrough begins when one person becomes willing to grow.

Jesus compared faith to a mustard seed. It begins small, but with care and nourishment it grows into something far greater than anyone imagined.

The same is true in marriage.

One prayer.

One conversation.

One act of forgiveness.

One moment of choosing peace instead of proving you're right.

Those small choices become the roots of a strong marriage.

This Week's Growth Challenge

The next time you find yourself in an "intense fellowship" moment, pause before responding.

Ask yourself:

"What outcome do I want for my marriage?"

Then choose the response that will help your relationship grow instead of simply helping you win the argument.

Healthy marriages aren't built by people who always agree.

They're built by people who keep growing together.

As Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 13, love is patient and kind. It protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres.

That's the kind of love that transforms a marriage into a garden in full bloom.

Until next time, stay hopeful, your story is still in the works.

With love,

Coach Sheila Faye