The Marriage You Want Starts Today

The marriage you want is not built through one perfect decision or one beautiful wedding day. It is built through the choices you begin making now.

I have spoken with many women who created a checklist for the kind of husband they hoped to marry.

He should have a good job. He should be kind, patient, responsible, and, of course, good-looking.

I still laugh when I remember the day I placed my own “order” with whoever I believed was “the man upstairs.” I was about fifteen years old, walking down the street and saying, “I would like a tall, light-skinned man with bowlegs, and his name should be Paul.”

Well, God has a sense of humor.

My husband was tall, dark, handsome, and definitely bowlegged. His name was not Paul, but he did have his own road-to-Damascus experience when God called him into ministry.

He was not everything I imagined, but he became the man God knew I needed.

Our marriage was not without challenges. We experienced misunderstandings, growing pains, and a few moments of what I like to call intense fellowship. Yet, by the grace of God, we kept learning, forgiving, growing, and choosing one another for 52 years.

That is why I believe the marriage you want does not begin someday.

It starts today.

There is no doubt about how God feels about marriage. From the beginning, He created man and woman for companionship, partnership, and purpose. Marriage was never meant to be perfect because it joins two imperfect people. But it can become a place where love, grace, faith, and maturity grow.

Most couples do not enter marriage expecting it to end. They begin with hope and dreams for the future. Still, marriage faces many pressures—finances, careers, family responsibilities, social media, and personal expectations. These challenges can create distance if the relationship is not cared for intentionally.

Before you walk down the aisle, have honest conversations about faith, finances, children, family expectations, communication, household responsibilities, and conflict.

Love is important but love alone does not answer every question. Marriage also requires clarity, maturity, and a willingness to grow.

Once married, make it a habit to amplify the good. It is easy to notice what your spouse is not doing, but constant criticism can weaken the relationship. Notice his effort. Acknowledge his kindness. Say thank you. Encouragement helps create an atmosphere where both people feel valued.

Also, make time for one another. Strong marriages do not grow in leftover time. Share a cup of coffee. Take a walk. Laugh together. Pray together. Ask questions that go beyond schedules, bills, and responsibilities.

Those small choices build L.I.F.E.—Love, Intimacy, Friendship, and Endurance.

Finally, invite God into the relationship. Marriage works best as a three-way partnership: husband, wife, and God.

The marriage you want is not built through one perfect decision or one beautiful wedding day. It is built through the choices you begin making now.

Choose honesty.

Choose appreciation.

Choose time together.

Choose prayer.

Choose growth.

The marriage you want starts today.

With love,

Coach Sheila FayeHelping wives build stronger Christ-centered marriages through L.I.F.E.—Love, Intimacy, Friendship, and Endurance.